[ Eddie hadn’t even planned on being here to begin with, but he’s not just going to leave a good friend hanging when he could be of some help, and what else does he really have going on? Ever the performer, he steps right up without a single word prepared. He isn’t great with this kind of stuff, but he’s seen several episodes of Night Court so what’s the worst that could happen? ]

Hey.

[ He grins and waves out at the group of his fellow Interlopers. ]

Man, I always thought I’d be the one on trial at one of these things—sorry. Not about me.

[ This time at least. ]

Uh, anyway—I’m gonna be totally straight with you, I wasn’t there. I’m not a witness, I didn’t see shit, but I know the type of person Kieren is, and the dude doesn’t have a purposefully malicious bone in his body. If he says he did it, then I’m not gonna try to pretend he didn’t, but I am gonna defend the situation.

Just—obviously none of us are having a good time out here. We’re all running on fumes. Shitty food, shitty sleep, shitty weather--Jesus Christ is the weather shitty. We’re all doing and saying and thinking shit we wouldn’t ordinarily do. Seriously—I’d bet money that not one of you sitting there haven’t seriously contemplated murdering me at some point for disturbing the peace. This could have been literally any one of us, because no one’s thinking right. And if you’re gonna look at Kieren who isn't even trying to make excuses and say he deserves a harsher punishment than literally anyone else up here, well--that’s some bullshit that you probably need to reassess.