[ dammit. not the tears. shiro finds himself holding his breath through that first beat, time seemingly stretching to a pause as he catches a glimpse of shining eyes. it’s the firelight. as essential as the fire is to keith’s well-being, it is also his undoing; it gives him away. there’s more, too. it’s also the fall of those lashes and the way keith squeezes his eyes shut, expression pinched all the way down to his teeth-caught lip. shiro clenches his own teeth, though his are tucked behind a line-pressed pair of lips, all of it together muffling the sigh that wants to slip free.
he hates himself a little in the moment, though he recognizes the hurt he’s inflicting is an unintentional byproduct of simply existing. it’s not like he chose to be sick. he simply is.
i want to believe you so badly –
keith leans against him, mumbling through words that are far too thick to get through with ease, and shiro does what he can to make it easier by extending his arm around his shoulders, supporting keith with a firm hold. before, shiro had been partially fond by the magnitude of care embedded in keith’s reaction, but now… shiro isn’t sure how to feel. guilty, per usual, and sad, of course. he’s curious, too, though. he remembers a younger keith, who stomped up to him in garrison issued boots, only to lose that fight with a fracturing of his expression. keith hadn’t cried then, but shiro remembers, for a moment, thinking he might.
they were close at galaxy garrison. mentor and mentee turned best friends, despite the hefty age gap and rank disparity. they’d been in vastly different points in their lives – shiro already set in his career and keith trying to build his – so even though shiro hadn’t hesitated back then when dubbing keith his best friend, he was also well aware of an inherent distance that prevented them from fitting that title to a t. amazingly, it seems as though distance has deepened their friendship.
no, he corrects. not their friendship. keith’s friendship with shiro's future self.
how much closer have they become? how much more has keith come to care for his best friend? shiro doesn’t doubt that keith has cared about his well-being for a long time now, but he certainly hadn’t gotten choked up about it last time, when he was younger, when he was, arguably, more susceptible to emotion. when he wasn’t a battle-hardened warrior. not that warriors can’t show emotion, but… well, shiro has certainly become a blood-soaked warrior and he knows better than to release the tight leash he keeps on his own feelings.
so this isn’t him compromising. this is him remembering how to empathize; providing just enough to be comforting, without giving himself away in the process. ]
My body has changed a lot… just not in the one way I would've wanted it to.
[ said lightly, almost humorously, shiro maintains that tired, little smile of his. ]
It's okay, though. I'm not in pain. [ more importantly: ] I'm managing.
[ it’s been a long day already, which is frankly, a more probable explanation for keith’s flare up of emotion. so shiro sighs a soft sound and begins to release keith by the shoulder. ]
But you're right. I could be warmer and I know you could be, too. [ a gentle untangle and pull away, then shiro begins to push himself to his feet. ] Let me pull that couch over here and then we’ll get situated.
ofc it is. it is full of babies.
he hates himself a little in the moment, though he recognizes the hurt he’s inflicting is an unintentional byproduct of simply existing. it’s not like he chose to be sick. he simply is.
i want to believe you so badly –
keith leans against him, mumbling through words that are far too thick to get through with ease, and shiro does what he can to make it easier by extending his arm around his shoulders, supporting keith with a firm hold. before, shiro had been partially fond by the magnitude of care embedded in keith’s reaction, but now… shiro isn’t sure how to feel. guilty, per usual, and sad, of course. he’s curious, too, though. he remembers a younger keith, who stomped up to him in garrison issued boots, only to lose that fight with a fracturing of his expression. keith hadn’t cried then, but shiro remembers, for a moment, thinking he might.
they were close at galaxy garrison. mentor and mentee turned best friends, despite the hefty age gap and rank disparity. they’d been in vastly different points in their lives – shiro already set in his career and keith trying to build his – so even though shiro hadn’t hesitated back then when dubbing keith his best friend, he was also well aware of an inherent distance that prevented them from fitting that title to a t. amazingly, it seems as though distance has deepened their friendship.
no, he corrects. not their friendship. keith’s friendship with shiro's future self.
how much closer have they become? how much more has keith come to care for his best friend? shiro doesn’t doubt that keith has cared about his well-being for a long time now, but he certainly hadn’t gotten choked up about it last time, when he was younger, when he was, arguably, more susceptible to emotion. when he wasn’t a battle-hardened warrior. not that warriors can’t show emotion, but… well, shiro has certainly become a blood-soaked warrior and he knows better than to release the tight leash he keeps on his own feelings.
so this isn’t him compromising. this is him remembering how to empathize; providing just enough to be comforting, without giving himself away in the process. ]
My body has changed a lot… just not in the one way I would've wanted it to.
[ said lightly, almost humorously, shiro maintains that tired, little smile of his. ]
It's okay, though. I'm not in pain. [ more importantly: ] I'm managing.
[ it’s been a long day already, which is frankly, a more probable explanation for keith’s flare up of emotion. so shiro sighs a soft sound and begins to release keith by the shoulder. ]
But you're right. I could be warmer and I know you could be, too. [ a gentle untangle and pull away, then shiro begins to push himself to his feet. ] Let me pull that couch over here and then we’ll get situated.