[ my body has changed a lot… just not in the one way i would've wanted it to.
it's almost laughable how understated that is. on some level, keith realizes that shiro says it like that because of him. because he's failing to be a sturdy rock for his best friend to lean on. ordinarily, that thought alone would have been the catalyst to some self-loathing bullshit, but in the moment? even his inadequacy feels detached from reality.
everything does, really. it's okay though. i'm not in pain. keith can't decide if the lie makes him want to laugh or throw up. maybe both at the same time? that'd certainly be one way of guaranteeing that shiro will never open up to him on this issue again. a dissociative paralysis sets in, like the opposite of fight or flight with every cell in his body absolutely convinced that any kind of reaction right now is a fatal mistake.
he allows shiro to disentangle and stays kneeling on the floor, staring holes into the worn couch. realistically, nothing has changed. shiro has been sick this whole time, both when they were in the city and now here. the need for them to escape this crazy simulation or whatever this is is still their top priority. and yet, keith sees everything in a new dismal light. or maybe that's just the fire casting new flickering shadows from behind.
keith shudders as he finally remembers to breathe. luckily, what comes out of his mouth is neither a laugh nor vomit. instead, it's a whisper strained with too many emotions. ]
... I'll do better. Be better. Actually, be helpful, instead of a burden. Promise.
;; it is a work of art
it's almost laughable how understated that is. on some level, keith realizes that shiro says it like that because of him. because he's failing to be a sturdy rock for his best friend to lean on. ordinarily, that thought alone would have been the catalyst to some self-loathing bullshit, but in the moment? even his inadequacy feels detached from reality.
everything does, really. it's okay though. i'm not in pain. keith can't decide if the lie makes him want to laugh or throw up. maybe both at the same time? that'd certainly be one way of guaranteeing that shiro will never open up to him on this issue again. a dissociative paralysis sets in, like the opposite of fight or flight with every cell in his body absolutely convinced that any kind of reaction right now is a fatal mistake.
he allows shiro to disentangle and stays kneeling on the floor, staring holes into the worn couch. realistically, nothing has changed. shiro has been sick this whole time, both when they were in the city and now here. the need for them to escape this crazy simulation or whatever this is is still their top priority. and yet, keith sees everything in a new dismal light. or maybe that's just the fire casting new flickering shadows from behind.
keith shudders as he finally remembers to breathe. luckily, what comes out of his mouth is neither a laugh nor vomit. instead, it's a whisper strained with too many emotions. ]
... I'll do better. Be better. Actually, be helpful, instead of a burden. Promise.