[ … don’t laugh at him, please. quiet as it is, the disbelieving huff hits hard, cracking open that sliver of vulnerability shiro is sharing and rubbing salt directly into it. in an instant, he feels raw and exposed, made stupid by his own folly in opening himself up to this incredulousness.
we’re like brothers and all.
that shouldn’t bother him. in any other situation, he would melt with gratitude for being seen as such. whether this is his keith or not, the value of their friendship is beyond measure. brothers is more than he can hope for at this point. that’s family. that’s far closer to forever and no matter what; the kind of bond that shiro’s turmoil rattled existence needs. but when there’s skin on skin and a twitch in his half-hardened cock, tempted by smooth, rounded curves a mere hip tilt away…? turns out mortification works well on putting a stop to an inopportune boner.
bitterness doesn’t suit shiro. he tries not to swell with it, but between the cold, panic and exhaustion of the day, he’s near the end of his ever-patient rope. so the words aren’t tailored with their usual carefulness. shiro falls to his own shortcomings, his shame making him lose his composure with a clipped tone that does little to hide the underlying annoyance. ]
I don’t miss having a boyfriend.
[ thinking of boyfriends inevitably leads back to adam, which acts as kerosene on his already agitated irritation toward his failures. self-awareness broadens and he does catch himself, dialing back the bite to his voice by sighing heavily. next, he simply sounds sour, near grumbling. ]
I wouldn’t be the right fit for anyone anymore, anyway. We’re here trying to generate warmth and it’s the most pleasant, physical interaction I’ve had in ages, so my body reacts. It’s pathetic of me. [ a beat; no, not quite accurate. it’s better said: ] I’m pathetic.
that won't save you... it never does
we’re like brothers and all.
that shouldn’t bother him. in any other situation, he would melt with gratitude for being seen as such. whether this is his keith or not, the value of their friendship is beyond measure. brothers is more than he can hope for at this point. that’s family. that’s far closer to forever and no matter what; the kind of bond that shiro’s turmoil rattled existence needs. but when there’s skin on skin and a twitch in his half-hardened cock, tempted by smooth, rounded curves a mere hip tilt away…? turns out mortification works well on putting a stop to an inopportune boner.
bitterness doesn’t suit shiro. he tries not to swell with it, but between the cold, panic and exhaustion of the day, he’s near the end of his ever-patient rope. so the words aren’t tailored with their usual carefulness. shiro falls to his own shortcomings, his shame making him lose his composure with a clipped tone that does little to hide the underlying annoyance. ]
I don’t miss having a boyfriend.
[ thinking of boyfriends inevitably leads back to adam, which acts as kerosene on his already agitated irritation toward his failures. self-awareness broadens and he does catch himself, dialing back the bite to his voice by sighing heavily. next, he simply sounds sour, near grumbling. ]
I wouldn’t be the right fit for anyone anymore, anyway. We’re here trying to generate warmth and it’s the most pleasant, physical interaction I’ve had in ages, so my body reacts. It’s pathetic of me. [ a beat; no, not quite accurate. it’s better said: ] I’m pathetic.