ic fmk: sing edition

[singhelpers]

Fuck (kiss), marry, or kill


— post your a toplevel for your character or throw three people's names out into the ether
— decide which one your character would like to fuck (or hug for the wee ones), marry, or kill
— respond appropriately
— shenanigans ensue

Comments

[ployboy]

It won't happen exactly as they say it will, of course. Anyone who seriously wants me dead should be a little more creative. But it's good insight into their preferences. A tiger rarely changes its stripes.

[salamanca]

And you? What kind of tiger are you? [ Lalo shrugs loosely. ] Let's say you wanted to kill me. How would you do it?

omg come back here

[ployboy]

Me? That one that's always asleep when you visit the zoo.

But do you mean, like... kill you beyond, like, feeding you your own mushrooms? Because you looked pretty close to the edge back there. No helping hand needed.

CRYING oh my God I love you

[salamanca]

[ Do you hear that, ladies and gentlemen? That is the sound of silence. You might also hear a sound similar to glass breaking. That's the sound of Lalo's ego being shattered.

He clears his throat. Runs a hand through his hair. Glances off to the side. After a few seconds of humbled silence, Lalo speaks, smiling sheepishly and still sounding happy enough but definitely slightly quieter and more subdued compared to before. ]

Yeah, uh. [ Is it hot in here somehow?? Even though they live in a frozen wasteland?? Or is it just him?? ]

Thanks for that, by the way. Looking out for me. [ Because he might have died that night left to his own devices. ]

the cr made in heck

[ployboy]

[Life be like that sometimes.

Tim resists the urge to slap the man on the back.] I know you'd do the same for me.

[Buddy pal friendo.]

[salamanca]

[ This kid...

Lalo outrights scratches the back of his head now. The slightly sheepish grin evolves into an embarrassed smile. ]

Since you asked, that's how I'd kill you too. Feed you some of my stew.

[ployboy]

A homemade meal to die for. Wow. That's the nicest thing anyone's ever hypothetically done for me. And I thought I was sly with the hotel room chocolates.

[no context only pain

And newfound paranoia for... warm foods? Because this is Tim Drake, and Batman sucks, and of course the spiraling will continue until morale improves etc]

Remind me to never share the kitchen with you again.

[slaughterhouse is fine]

[salamanca]

Hotel room chocolates?

[ Come on, Tim. You can't just drop that one out of nowhere and not expect to make a guy curious. ]

It's fine. If I really wanted to kill you, I'd probably have a few different contingency plans for how I'd do it. [ Lalo glances at him and meets his eyes like they're talking about the weather. ]

You know, like a Plan A, Plan B, Plan C... that kind of thing...

But of course, I'd never really try to kill anybody! This is just a hypothetical.

cw cannibalism and attempt at murder mentions

[ployboy]

[Hotel room chocolates. Lalo is a big boy. He can use big boy words to ask his question.

Though, something indescribable passes through Tim's expressions- still light, teasing like they all are.

(Yeah, right. He knows about the Donner Party, and knows this isn't an everyday ski resort vacation.)

But it's... strange, to be around people so open about something so wrong. Equally strange to feel not so wrong about it after all. He says,] Agree to disagree. Hypothetically.

[Hypothetically, it isn't so out of left field for Timothy Drake to have fantasized about exacting revenge on the bastard who murdered his father.

Tim knows this. Naturally. He takes a pause for... hesitation, sheepishness, whatever. Says,]

Like, if you're gonna do something like that, just. I don't know how to word it. Go big or go home? Just make sure you don't miss that first time.

[salamanca]

[ He will try again, then! With his big boy words this time. ] What did you do with the chocolates...? Should I be afraid to get sweets from you?

[ Hypothetically. Oh, of course. Of course it's all hypothetical. For both of them.

"Don't miss the first time"... it's a mentality Lalo can respect, even if it's not always how he ends up doing things. ]

Agree to disagree. Si. But I can respect your way of thinking about it. Sort of like... do it right, or don't do it at all. [ An admirable stance. ]

Some people are hard to kill, though. [ He would know. ]

cw gross/bathroom humor?? dumb boys.....

[ployboy]

[The big plus to casual, easy, lazy adolescent communication is this:]

Right. The chocolates. My friends and I had a prank war going, right?

[A little true, a whole lot not.]

I knew they were going to try something stupid because I was going to ask this girl out to prom. They're from out of state, here with family. So I ask the roomkeeper to give their rooms these chocolates.

[And a big-ass pinch of self-awareness. Tim can feel himself mortified just saying this.] To keep them occupied.

[Tim.]

In the bathroom.

There would be some collateral, innocents in the crossfire. But it was a sacrifice that I was willing to take.

[Tim.]

But I started thinking that- man, that was just too easy. If I was, like. A creep. Which I'm not. So don't hate me for it. Imp is a menace during prank wars. You have no idea. Anyway.

I don't know what I went through all that trouble for, 'cause I never even made it to prom. I was in Barcelona with someone else, like, a week later.

[Tim please shut up.

He gesticulates] But hy.po.thetically...

Hypothetically, you're not a cop, are you?

[salamanca]

[ Lalo listens to Tim's story without interrupting, intent on trying to guess on where it's going. He doesn't say or do anything until Tim is finished talking.

But it's when Tim asks if Lalo is a cop that Lalo truly loses it. Eyes twinkling, he dissolves into a heap of laughter, and shakes his head while clutching his stomach as he doubles over.

When he stands back up, he gives Tim a slap on the back. There are tears of mirth in his eyes. ]

'Ayyyyy, amigo - don't worry about it! I'm not a cop. [ And he's offended by the comparison! Hdu. He gasps for air. ]

But if I was, I might have to just let you off with a warning for that! Whoo! That's a good one!

[ Lalo, it turns out, fucking loves pranks. ]