singillppl | ic fuck marry kill

Entry tags:

meme

ic fuck marry kill

Fuck, marry, or kill?

— post your a toplevel for your character or throw three people's names out into the ether
— decide which one your character would like to fuck/kiss (or hug for the wee ones), marry, or kill
— respond appropriately
— shenanigans ensue

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Little, Irving, Jopson.

[ Oh, good Lord. ]

... You— you wish for me to choose amongst my fellow Lieutenants in this— well, crude game? Why?

Because it's fun.

For me, I should clarify. It's fun for me. So?

Yes, I should imagine it is.

[ Devious madam you are, Miss Earp. ]

I should like to begin by insisting I mean no ill-will towards the fellow and do not truly wish him any harm. He's an excellent man. But— I suppose, with great reluctance—

[ HE DOESN'T LIKE THIS GAME. ]

Could we not find a more suitable alternative than 'kill'?

Sure. How about, uh... 'walk the plank'?

[ She really doesn't understand how the Navy works... ]

[ Okay, but he has to chuckle. ]

A fitting punishment for pirates and rogues, Miss Earp. But certainly not for Her Majesty's Navy.

Would you accept an extra watch duty instead?

Have you ever considered that maybe you should be more like pirates and rogues?

Fine, fine. An extra watch duty or a... sharply worded reprimand. Happy?

Good god, no. I have no intention of being a criminal, Madam. I have fought pirates before.

[ He's being perfectly serious. ]

... I find that is much more sufficient. [ Goodness, and now he must make his choice, shouldn't he? ] I... I suppose if I must choose a man to befall that fate— then...

I.. should likely choose Mr Jopson.

Really? You'd pick Jopson to ki— have an extra watch duty?

Now I'm just judging your taste. Okay, fine, how about the other two?

I suppose, in my reasonings, he was a rather recent promotion— and I did insist he's an excellent man.

[ Now he must really suffer— ]

You have given me no easy task, Miss Earp. For both men I respect and care for very much as friends and fellow officers.

C'mon man. You this indecisive when you're fighting pirates? Gut instinct, go.

You cannot compare the heat of battle with facing a decision of which of Lieutenants Little and Irving I should like to wed or have amorous congress with—!

Tick-tock, Lieutenant. You pick or I'll pick for you.

... You would pick for me—?

[ He scoffs a little, incredulous. ]

Well. Let's hear it, then. What would be your decision?

Fuck Irving, marry Little. Mazel tov.

[ His head dips. Well, at least he doesn't have to decide. ]

... Then I shall resign myself to my fates, madam.

And this was your 'gut-reaction'?

There were only two names left, dude. It wasn't hard to just pick.

I see.

I would have... preferred to make the decision not quite as lightly.

Then you probably shoulda made it, huh?

Perhaps if I was not rushed—

And what of you? Should you have had to make the same decision on the three men?

Easy. Fuck Little, marry Tommy, kill Irving.

[ Kill Irving......... too soon......... ]

But— John is a perfectly good chap.

He's great. But, A — it's a game, and I gotta choose somebody. And B — of all of them, he's the one who's basically gagging to be a martyr.

You raise a fair point.

[ There is a pause, before finally: ]

I... perhaps may have gone with the opposite of your decision for me.

Edited 2025-11-17 14:47 (UTC)

Honestly, you're probably in luck either way. I bet they're both freaks in the sack.

[ This guy probably is too! Victorians. ]

Edited 2025-11-17 15:00 (UTC)

(no subject)

manges - 2025-11-19 13:57 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only